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Insulting Neil Gaiman

Last night I dreamed that I left a Tori Amos concert to run to the bookstore (???)… 

I wasn’t going to be gone long, but when I got there, I found out Neil Gaiman’s new book, The Graveyard Book, had been released early. A helpful bookseller said I should get in line because Neil Gaiman was there in the store doing a signing, (!!!) I figured it would be too long a line and I wanted to get back to the concert, but then she pointed out the line only had about five people in it, so…

Here I should mention that I was sitting in my office chair from home this whole time – wheeling around the store. So I asked the lady to help me get the chair through the stacks, and I got in line. And there he was, signing books, with only five people in front of me! And then they were suddenly gone and I didn’t know what to say! 

He asked which book I wanted since I wasn’t holding one, and I said, “Any one will do.” (eeeek!) and then he went on about it not being worth the shipping to get such and such or something, and finally signed a copy of The Graveyard Book for me. I was feeling bad that i hadn’t read the new book yet (even though it had just been released that day), but in real non-dreaming life, I’ve been listening to him on audio a lot (HIGHLY reccommend!). So I told him I listened to his audio…and that I really enjoyed it…except, I said, “You do a really bad English accent.”

:-O

I don’t remember how he reacted, but I quickly corrected myself and said, “I meant to say you do a bad American accent!” (Awesome! I put my foot in my mouth in my own dreams!!) I back-pedaled, trying to explain myself and not being able to because I really don’t think this at all and I don’t know why I said it! At that point, I think he wanted me to leave, so he began chatting with the booksellers, and I began to wheel pitifully away in my office chair, feeling stupid that I ruined my one and only chance to speak to Neil Gaiman.

This one goes in the nightmare folder. *sigh*